i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
