I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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