Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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