so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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