there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
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