Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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