I'm jealous of your bromance
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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