We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
