I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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