her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
