I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
