I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
