if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
