His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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