What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
