I hope mine doesn't look like that
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
