Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
