Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The air was thick with penises
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
