let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
