hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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