i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
