Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
