why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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