Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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