Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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