I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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