Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize