i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
