Who wears a wallet chain?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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