did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
