I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
