Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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