How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
