this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
