If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize