I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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