Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
