My pussy is not your playground.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
