You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
