at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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