I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
