Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
