not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
