Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
