They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
