Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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