I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
