also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
