is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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