Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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