Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
