By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
