fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
