So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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