Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
