You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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