If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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