belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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