How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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