just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
