Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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