he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
