ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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