Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
