I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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