THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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