16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
